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No Exit-one chapter in the life of Falcon, a sensitive young Border Collie.

Writer's picture: Emily RogenessEmily Rogeness

Updated: Oct 3, 2022





My friend, Suzann, needed me to take care of her border collies while she was on a short work trip. She asked me visit a few times a day to let them out and feed them. Her dogs: ten year old Ffynch is a confident ten year old boy, and Falcon, a sensitive four year old boy. Falcon has some specific environmental sensitivities (sounds like helicopters, lawn mowers, etc.) which have been a challenge to his confidence outside and in novel environments. Both dogs have had only positive experiences with me showing every indication of excitement and happiness when I visit.


Suzann is always working to support Falcon’s learning. Falcon’s learning, at this point, consists of practicing skills he knows and enjoys while not being asked to work in environments which intimidate him. When he was a puppy, I occasionally let him and his brother(s) out and I taught him Crate Games, for fun. I was in and out of the house more often when Suzann wasn’t home helping with Baby Falcon getting out.


A mutual friend had mentioned to me that Falcon stopped going outside when she stopped by to let them out. I didn’t pay attention. Six months prior I had stopped by Suzann’s house to drop off dog food and she asked me to let the dogs out while I was there. That day I saw Falcon not wanting to go outside. I didn’t force him out and made a note of it without giving it any more attention until Suzann asked me to babysit over the weekend. Ffynch ran outside and Falcon sat on the couch with me. I texted her that Falcon stayed in. and neither of us thought much of it.


On a practical level, when Suzann asked me to help her out, I feared ‘what happens if Falcon won’t leave the house for two and a half days?’.


With trepidation I agreed to do this. Neither Suzann nor I had thought to test Falcon’s ability to go outside without her home. Because we hadn’t pushed the issue we had not seen the degree of his feelings about what he could and could not do when his mom wasn’t home.


Suzann had been unaware of Falcon’s challenge. You can’t be aware of something you’re not seeing so when I told her it was news. We didn’t really have any realistic plan to address the situation. I’m not even sure if that would have helped when she actually was absent. In any event, my first visit to the house would be a complete trial run. I was doing visits from Friday night to Sunday morning.


This is how I would describe Falcon to friends: He is a sweet and silent boy. He doesn’t draw attention to himself, and he asks little of the people around him. When he is happy and his safety needs are being met, he reminds me an earnest young boy who wants to please. He seeks connection with safe people. He is likely one of the most trusting and vulnerable dogs I’ve met. He is also quite brainy and he learns beautifully. Falcon is ever watchful for what may be unsafe when presented with newness of any kind. New sounds, smells or people are always noticed and most of the time prompted a retreat of some form.

Falcon’s primary methods of dealing with stress are flight(favorite) and avoidance. Knowing when and how to remove pressure from Falcon is critical in working with him.


What follows are the notes I made over that weekend as I experienced Falcon’s

“door aversion”. It is a microcosm of how I’ve broken down and analyzed past situations when figuring out how to support a dog in real time was my only option. I needed to keep a running evaluation of what Falcon was able to do and what he was unable to do as he struggled with his feelings about being home without Suzann and with me returning repeatedly. In hindsight, my level of concern about Falcon’s stability may have been a bit out of proportion with the situation. Even if remained in the house for 2.5 days, this was survivable for him. I wanted to find ways to make this experience safer and less traumatizing for Falcon.


Visit by visit according to my recollections


Visit 1:

Friday 7:00p.m. - On the drive to Suzann's I feel like I'm about to jump out of an airplane with no right of refusal. We are 3 hours in to a storm with wind gusts over 40 mile an hour as I’m making the 20-minute drive to Suzann’s house. Outside sounded like the backdrop for the opening scene in a horror movie. I felt we were facing a different fear-based issue. There was also a slim chance that Ffynch would be alarmed by the weather which would be bad for him and would contribute to the overall stress of this night for everyone.


Yay! Falcon is happy to see me so we still have our relationship to work from!


He was so happy to see me wiggling, wagging and dancing to me. Greeting time with both dogs who are very excited. No sign of any nervousness in Falcon at all which made me happy. I understood that we wouldn’t know if Falcon could cross the threshold until I opened the door. So, with a deep breath and a huge dose of ‘here we go’ I walked to the back door ‘normally and happily’ and opened it up…Ffynch shot out like a bullet and Falcon did the following


A. Jumped to the side of the island in the kitchen to check the door and took about a step forward, still 25 feet away from the door and in a separate room

B. Genuflected backwards as though he’d hit an electric barrier.

C. Scampered meekly into the corner of the kitchen furthest away from the door. Almost like a little mouse.

D. Showed no indication of leaving the corner, ever.


Offering Falcon the opportunity to go outside changed everything in the way I feared it might, and now I had a problem. Ffynch was confidently and happily running around in the windstorm eliminating, barking at the wind like a puppy and running back into the house to take a victory lap after running in the rain. I found relief in his expressions of well being.


I played some games with Falcon so he could scamper to me and then slink back to his corner as I texted with Suzann and reviewed my options for tonight. Caring about Falcon exiting the house in a windstorm was insane and would have been unsafe in every way.

I considered the doggy door for tomorrow. The house has one that is kept closed most of the time.


Friday night I got almost no sleep. I could hear the wind die down at around 2:00a.m. so felt a bit better about Falcon as he would be less stressed in a quieter house.


Visit 2

Saturday 6a.m - I was grateful to see morning come so I could check on the boys. Sleep was difficult. Every sound made by the storm made me wonder how the Falcon was doing. I have zero thought that Falcon will go outside so not even considering that might happen. I was focused on formulating achievable goals which began with adding as little stress as possible to Falcon’s experience while I was in the house.


My primary goal was to appear as ‘not worried about anything (especially Falcon!)’ when I entered the house. I felt eying him for his behavior choices would have fed into Falcon’s generalized sense of unease. This had potential to grow into an anxiety loop for him. Being human, my concern did include the door and the act of going outside but focusing on that would not help resolve the situation. I focused on what I could do which was to recognize all signs of ‘baseline and functional behavior’ in Falcon. During the day I could open the dog door so it was possible that he could eliminate outside. He was eating enthusiastically and appeared happy so I wasn’t concerned about his physical well being deteriorating, as I had been the night before.


I took a time out with Ffynch to rest on the futon because I was tired and didn’t want to leave just yet. While resting my eyes, and listening for Falcon to investigate the doggy door, I put together how I would handle the rest of the weekend now that the storm had passed and Falcon had made it through the first night without Suzann home fairly well.


I felt like I could take a breath finally. A decent baseline was established and being maintained. Progress is possible and I will know what it looks like when I see any sign of increased comfort.


Visit 3:

12:00 Saturday - My state of mind is much more at ease.


I’m stopping by because I can’t remember if I had left the doggy door open or not. I checked the potty yard and could see that Falcon had eliminated ( I know his spots)!! Very positive as we'd found a system where his basic needs could be met. Pressure off of both of us.


Adding novelty to this experience felt like a good idea. I began working on creating rituals for my visits for both Falcon and his brother with me as Game Starter and team member. My thought was to add something to look forward to so he knew what to do and could anticipate what was coming next in a good way. I love happy rituals. So, I picked different foods and worked on collaboration with both dogs.


Visit 4

3:00 Saturday - State of mind is even better than at noon. Driving by for a simple wellness check because it was 20 minutes out of my way and I wanted to gauge how Falcon was handling day 1 of his mom being away. I prepare myself to observe for signs of what is good and what can be improved.


Takeaway – Things are settling down everyone will be okay. Falcon can go out, not when I’m there but he can go out and eliminate so he feels better physically as well as mentally.


Visit 5:

7:00 Saturday - Raising criteria or even playing around criteria would have been akin to punishing Falcon for showing any sign of relaxation and happiness. To ask him to behave like nothing was wrong would’ve been to ignore the fact that something was in fact wrong in Falcon-Land. It would’ve been like asking a whisper to be loud

My mantra for him became ‘if you can meet me here then I will remain here’


Takeaway – Don’t ask them to do anything and observe what activities are possible, enjoyable, and even those, which bring out enthusiasm -- all of that is what can be built on later. And I anticipated Falcon frequently checking out or escaping because the ability to leave or check out is what makes staying with me okay for him.


Visit 6

6:30 Sunday - Watershed visit. If you’ve been through a weather event like a hurricane or a tornado you’ve experienced the feeling when the storm has gone, and you realize that it’s not coming back. The stress of suspended reality as the storm played out is gone. Sunday morning was a normal morning in all ways. The dogs were glad to see me, they had breakfast and Falcon ran in and out of the doggy door. I made coffee in the kitchen and propped open the screen door which the humans used to come and go from the house. I knew Falcon felt weird about the door, so I stayed in the kitchen and only looked toward that door out of the corner of my eye randomly.


And then Falcon ran in the door like he’d been doing it forever! For me, a band started playing and confetti magically burst into the air and there was a cheering crowd. For Falcon, there was no change at all. I didn’t clap or cheer or do anything to pay attention to his mammoth accomplishment. Coming in looking like he was not concerned was his moment facilitated by me, but still his. I didn’t want to fracture his new found happiness with my loudness or emotion.


Visit 7

3:00 Sunday - This visit was more of a check to see if the morning’s stability was being maintained. It felt much more like a normal visit. We didn’t play our gate game or any games as I was there to let them out assess Falcon’s state of mind. He was good, all around and by all measurements he was a solid boy. I had left the dog door open so I closed it and Falcon’s choice to stay in or go out was not a concern. Suzann was arriving back home in the next hour.


Brief breakdown of how I analyzed Falcon’s reactions to events when I was visiting to see what I could improve and what I needed to avoid as well as how he was handling this situation overall.



​Event

Falcon's response

Observation/Conclusion

Pulling in the driveway

Peeking out the window quietly.

Curiosity and it appears to be anticipation of me coming in.

I enter the home

Falcon does full 'wiggle body' toward me. Very slinky and sweet

He is happy I'm back!

I get out the food dishes

Excitement from both dogs.

Healthy appetite. No fasting or turning away which is good.

I sit on the floor and when Falcon comes close food I roll food for him to chase!

He loves this game. I don't escalate my excitement in cheerleading him or in any other way.

This is a fun game and safe engagement for him with me. This game stays and gets repeated

With the gate separating the two dogs I feed each of them wet dog food (or tripe) with a spoon.

They are great at turn taking and super happy with the food choice.

The taste test is a fun activity for both dogs. It provides some safe collaboration with them as part of my time in the house. Also, both look forward to it so healthy anticipation

I touch the agility toys

Falcon dissolves and shrinks into the corner

I only did that once as somehow a significant stressor for him.

Taking Ffynch into the living room to play Food Detector (find it game)

Ffynch LOVES this game and Falcon chills on the couch while it takes place

This is a win for both dogs and again, a positive thing for me to add to the time in the house.



Final Thoughts


I can’t know what caused this and I will never know; it doesn’t matter. What mattered was that I had to have a plan and my plan was to never address the door in anyway shape or form the entire time that I was taking care of him. My criteria for myself was to leave the door alone and have limited engagement with this dog while he offered all kinds of affection and happiness to me. Just because he looked OK in no way shape or form meant that he was back to “normal


Labels are the gateway to missing opportunities to observe when a dog is not matching the label they have been given. To me, labeling a dog is like painting a white board purple, it obscures one’s ability to pay attention to behavior. Falcon is a dog with sensitivities. The following chart breaks out, simplified, how I was observing F’s behavior and the conclusions I was making as we spent time together. My goal was to whittle away and anything that seemed to diminish Falcon’s security and to weave more ‘safety’ into what I was bringing into his life.


My goal is successful repetition of non-upsetting events for Falcon

I observe his reactions to my actions and only repeat what does not provoke a fear response from Falcon.


These are random notes I took throughout the three days I was caring for Ffynch and Falcon:

  • Trust was critical, the foundation actually, I wanted him to be practicing functioning as normally as possible not being wary of what I may do next. For Falcon, Trust looks like not the absence of pressure.

  • Every positive interaction with him was adding to his new skill of being able to do things with his mom away from home and with Emi in the house. Don’t

  • We all feel a little bit pleased with ourselves when we learn something new? A lovely thought

  • In my experience, to label a dog as the big words bypass the nuance of what it means to work with most dogs. For instance, Falcon is not fearful in every situation so I do not label him as fearful. Big labels can lead us to miss victories present in most interactions with dogs presenting with a sensitivity to many situations.

  • Here is a list of things that made the situation more difficult (read worse) for Falcon aversives: touching the leash, getting out toys, any attempt to lure or call him into the room with the door.

  • Keep track of neutral reactions.

  • My definition of better began with ‘not worse’ and anything that kept Falcon from showing any signs of slipping back into the state he was in Friday night.

  • One clear way to read Falcon is whether he is moving into space or slipping back to his safe spaces in the house.

  • Desired outcome was abstract, becoming real when I saw how Falcon perceived the action.

  • Every action or change was worth analysis. Consistently taking the temperature of the room would help protect all of us from me assuming Falcon was 'okay'

  • If he knows I'm watching him, he gets spooky. Setting up ways to have him eating around me gave me the chance to review his body language without him being super aware of my scrutiny.

  • Untwisting whatever was going on with Falcon meant paying attention to all the additions I was making that he showed any happiness about.


In conclusion: It wasn’t about the door, it was never about the door at all. Trying to fit the door into a plan would have bypassed Falcon’s underlying concerns. I needed prioritize Falcon’s well-being. Focusing on entering and exiting the house would have ignored the crisis that Falcon was experiencing, quietly experiencing. Suzann was working through some challenges Falcon was facing with arena-stress, our separate work to help him gain confidence was beautifully complimenting of the other's practices with him.






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